"This is shooting Pie Vs Pi: The Pi Day Massacre off like, a cliff, with my Not Cannon!" — Match, "HELP US get to VIDCON 2019" (altered)
The subject of this article or section is non-canon. The events described (unless canon) did not happen in the official main BFDI universe.
“
You tried to steal my day. PI DAY! And for that, you must PAY!
Pie Vs Pi: The Pi Day Massacre is a non-canon Battle for Dream Island short that released on March 14, 2024 (3:14 PM EST). In this short, Pie and her friends fight a team of irrationalAlgebraliens.
The short starts with an alarm clock counting to 3:09 AM. Once the alarm clock blares, a voice states to give them 5 more minutes. The voice then greets the viewer, stating that they are actually Pie, who also says that today is her "birthday". Pie gives the viewer a rundown her daily activities: brushing her teeth, going to the store, eating tacos, and taking a walk. Soon after, she encounters Pi, an Irrational Algebralian who "has some sort of beef with [her]". Pi is pretty furious, stating that "there can only be one Pi" and to pay for this the two will make a team each. They also remark that they are going to "murder her".
After 31.4 minutes, Pie makes a team with Snowball, Basketball, Banana Apple and Golf Ball. She tells them they are her best friends in the world but Snowball asks who she is and Basketball says she's flattered but also that she thinks they've never talked before, which Pie replies by saying that's the reason they're her best friends. Banana Apple is hyped for the battle and that's when Golf Ball notices him and asks who that "thing" was. Pie asks if they didn't remember him and Basketball answers that they never met him. At that point, Pi arrives, announcing time's up. Golf Ball tells Pi that Pie hasn't been useful and asks what they will be doing. Pi answers that they're going to war against each other and that only the strongest will live. Banana Apple and Snowball are excited while Basketball is left in confusion.
First off, Pi starts a lesson about themself, saying that they (Pi) are an irrational constant, equal to the circumference of any circle divided by the diameter of the same circle and that it applies to every circle (as long as its not a square). Then they say they're equal to 3.141592653589... while Snowball tries passing a note to Pie saying "GOLFBALL IS A DORK", the former falling off his chair. Pi notices this and angrily tells Pie to read it out clearly. Pie walks to the front of the room and reads the note, now saying "it's time", and the scene cuts to outdoors where Pi blows an airhorn and telling everyone that it is time to meet their team.
Golf Ball is amazed to see Pi's team members - Euler's Constant, representing exponential growth, Square Root of Two, representing the ratio of the hypotenuse to the legs in a right isosceles triangle, and to her dissatisfaction, Tau, because they're just Pi multiplied by two. Tau teases her saying that she is "just a stupid golf ball", in which Golf Ball blows a raspberry at them in retaliation. This triggers Banana Apple who believes that his "best friend" got insulted. Pi introduces the last member of his team - i, the Imaginary Number, who Snowball says that is "literally nothing". Basketball sees this as a numbers advantage, and the battle starts.
Banana Apple attempts to ambush Pi's team, only to trip while doing so. Snowball picks him up by the legs and uses him as a weapon against Square Root of Two. Golf Ball and Tau argue about how high their IQs are, whilst Euler's Constant and Basketball "fight" by playing chess. Pie is disappointed to see this as she wanted to play chess, but then Pi comes and chases her around while throwing forks at her. Meanwhile, Two, Eight, Zero, and Six watch, questioning if they should be doing something about this. Zero reluctantly agrees to help.
Pie builds a brick wall to try and keep Pi away, but they simply break though it. Euler's Constant and Basketball are still playing chess, and the latter is losing. Euler's Constant checkmates Basketball, only to get hit with a brick from the wall Pi broke though. Basketball spins the board around to make it look as if she had won. While Golf Ball and Tau are still fighting, Pi throws another fork at Pie, but hits Tau instead. Tau comments that it hurt and then disappears. Meanwhile, Snowball is still hitting Square Root of Two with Banana Apple. A cloud of dust hits Square Root of Two's eyes, causing them to shrink into dust.
Basketball asks if the other members of Pie's Team have beaten their "Math thing" yet. Snowball brags about how Square Root of Two was no match for his strength, but Banana Apple says he's lying, so Snowball beats him up. Zero suddenly calls for them to help them pull something. Pie runs up to help, but gets tripped up by Pi, causing her to lose some of her blueberry filling. Pi holds up a fork, and says there there is only enough room for one Pi, and tells her to say her goodbyes. Pi comes up to Pie with the intention of killing her, only to get stuck in Pie's blueberry filling on the ground. Zero tells them to drop down what they were carrying, which turns out to be the division symbol. Pi is divided by Zero, leaving only Zero left.
Banana Apple congratulates Zero, Zero thanks them and saying that its nice to see them again. Basketball forgives Pie for ruining her birthday, Pie responds that she actually liked her birthday, except for some moments, and her biggest happy thing that happened is that she formed 4 new friends, Snowball insists that she only formed three new friends. After a bit of silence, Pie asks if her "team" likes Tacos, everyone agrees to go eat some tacos. Taco hears this and gets a little mad with Pie eating her family and not inviting her for the fight, and decides to eat Pie to it to be even. She then briefly shouts out to the others to invite her next time.
Stinger[]
Pie and Basketball are playing chess (Most presumably after eating tacos) as the latter suggests to do this more often. Snowball teases the two by calling them "nerd dorks", but is then mysteriously grabbed by the legs and is thrown against the ground repetitively by a seemingly invisible force. Golf Ball then sees this "force" as I the Imaginary Number, before teasingly talking over the struggling Snowball with Banana Apple as the video ends.
When Basketball turns the chess board around, she whistles Four's song from X Finds Out His Value, which is hummed multiple times throughout the series.
Cultural references[]
There are multiple references to Pi Day (March 14). These include:
The short itself being released at 3:14 PM EST.
Pie waking up at 3:09 AM and asking for 5 more minutes (3:09 + 5 more minutes = 3:14).
Pie's team being composed of circular characters, as Pi is used to calculate a circle's circumference.
The Algebraliens watching the fight being Six, Two, and Eight (6.28 are the first digits of Tau, which is π times 2).
The initial fight ends at 314 seconds into the video.
Tau saying they have an IQ of 157 (1.57 are the first digits of π/2).
When Pie says "aw, shucks", she moves her arms in a way similar to how the Circles from Battle for Circle do when eliminated.
Snowball being thrown around by Imaginary Number in the stinger is similar to how Patrick beats himself up in the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "No Weenies Allowed".
