| Video | Gallery | Transcript |
Battle for Dream Island Wiki
| Video | Gallery | Transcript |
|
An alarm clock goes off at 3:09 AM.
|
|
...Five more minutes.
|
|
(monologue) Hi. I'm Pie, and today is my birthday. Well, it's not really, but it is Pi Day, so I treat it like my birthday. My birthday is my day, and I do what I like. I don't let anyone else control me.
|
|
*gargles, then spits*
|
|
(monologue) I tend to get pretty wild. First, I hit up the grocery store. I pick up some saltine crackers usually, a bit of cheese, oh, and some food for my lizard. Getting low on that. I then take a trip to my favorite taco place to get a special meal. Really treat myself!
|
|
It tastes really good if you squeeze the lime on it.
|
|
Pie squeezes a lime atop her meal.
|
|
(monologue) After that, I take a small walk where I run into a powerful being who has some sort of beef with me.
|
|
Wait, what?
|
|
YOU!
|
|
Me?
|
|
You tried to steal MY day! PI DAY! And for that, you must pay!
|
|
Can we just settle this with a game of chess and be on our way?
|
|
What? Why would we- *sigh* Never mind. You assemble your team, and I assemble mine! We settle this in an hour.
|
|
A team? Chess is a two-player game.
|
|
Stop trying to make it chess!
|
|
You're being irrational!
|
|
Drum rimshot plays.
|
|
Okay. That was extremely clever. I've never heard that before! We don't need to fight, buddy.
|
|
Yay for friendship!
|
|
I was kidding. AHAHAHAHAHA! I'm going to personally murder you!
|
|
Pi runs off.
|
|
Aw, shucks.
|
|
Timecard: "31.4 minutes later"
|
|
Okay. I've assembled you guys to be my team, my best friends in the world.
|
|
Who are you?
|
|
I'm flattered, Pie. I really am. But I don't think we've ever talked.
|
|
That's why you're my best friends.
|
|
Yes! Yesyesyesyesyesyes! I'm so excited! This will be legendary!
|
|
Banana Apple begins to spin upside down.
|
|
What is this creature?
|
|
You don't remember him?
|
|
We never met him!
|
|
Come on!
|
|
Boop! Time's up!
|
|
Mr. Pi, the other Pie has been ZERO HELP! What are we doing?
|
|
We're going to war! Only the strong will survive.
|
|
Yes!
|
|
What?
|
|
But first...
|
|
Pi drags everyone into a classroom.
|
|
Pi is an irrational constant equal to the circumference of any circle divided by the diameter of the same circle. This applies to EVERY single circle, as long as it's not a square. Pi is equal to 3.1415926535-
|
|
Snowball groans as he passes a note to Pie.
|
|
Take it! Come on! Woah!
|
|
Snowball's desk falls over from leaning and he falls to the floor. Pie takes the note, which reads "Golf Ball is a dork."
|
|
PIE! Passing notes in class?
|
|
What- no, it was-
|
|
Why don't you read it out, so everyone can hear?
|
|
Pie gets out of her seat and walks to the front of the class. The note has changed.
|
|
"It's time."
|
|
Pi blows an airhorn.
|
|
It's literally time! I've met your team already, so you can meet mine!
|
|
Oh my rubber! It can't be! Euler's Constant, representing exponential growth! Wow! Square Root of 2, friend of Pythagoras! In a right isoceles triangle, you're the ratio of the hypotenuse to the legs! And Tau... you're just Pi multiplied by two. Boo!
|
|
Well, you're just a stupid golf ball.
|
|
*blows raspberry*
|
|
|
You can't call me that!
|
|
You guys forgot someone! This is I, the imaginary number!
|
|
That's literally nothing!
|
|
SHUSH! We have a numbers advantage!
|
|
AMBUSH!!!
|
|
Banana Apple runs and trips. Snowball picks him up.
|
|
Hey there! Wanna come over to my apartment and eat some overcooked pasta?
|
|
Snowball begins beating up √2 by hitting them with Banana Apple.
|
|
I have an IQ of 156!
|
|
I have one of 157!
|
|
No you don't!
|
|
I prefer less violent ways of fighting. Let's play chess!
|
|
That's awesome. I'm great at chess!
|
|
Euler's Constant and Basketball begin to play chess rapidly.
|
|
Aw, what? That's what I wanted to do! And it's MY birthday!
|
|
Pi throws a fork at Pie, before beginning to chase her while throwing more forks.
|
|
Aaah! Aaah! Ohhh!
|
|
Should we do something?
|
|
Meh.
|
|
Not our problem!
|
|
...Yeah, okay.
|
|
Pie builds a wall, which Pi smashes through. A brick flies towards Basketball and Euler's Constant.
|
|
Heh! I think that's checkmate!
|
|
Euler's Constant is hit in the head by a brick and presumably dies. Basketball whistles while turning the chess board around. Pi then accidentally throws a fork into Tau, who was simultaneously blowing raspberries with Golf Ball.
|
|
Ow. That kind of hurt.
|
|
Tau disappears.
|
|
*blows raspberry*
|
|
Ha ha ha! Again, again!
|
|
This is supposed to hurt!
|
|
It does! It does hu-r-rt!
|
|
Ahahaha! Yay!
|
|
√2 gets dust in their eyes, which was kicked up by Pi rounding a pole.
|
|
AAAAAAAA-
|
|
√2 withers away into nothingness.
|
|
...You're gonna tell everyone that I did that, right?
|
|
Mm-hmm!
|
|
So, did you guys beat your math thing, too?
|
|
Uh huh! That STUPID thing didn't have a chance against my natural strength!
|
|
HE'S LYING!
|
|
(while bashing Banana Apple onto the ground) SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
|
|
(offscreen) Hey, you guys!
|
|
Cut to Zero dragging a divide operator onscreen.
|
|
Why are you standing there? Help me!
|
|
Pie trips over one of Pi's forks.
|
|
Ow!
|
|
Pie is partially broken open, with some blueberry filling on the ground. Everyone continues to drag the divider.
|
|
Ow...
|
|
Heh! There's only enough room for ONE pi! Say your goodbyes!
|
|
Pi approaches Pie, but gets stuck in the blueberry filling.
|
|
Eugh, this is gross! *groan* Ugh, come on!! What's in this stuff?
|
|
(offscreen) Okay! Drop it down, guys!
|
|
The divide operator is dropped between Zero and Pi.
|
|
What?! NO! Get me out of here! It's- it's my birthday!
|
|
Pi is divided by Zero offscreen.
|
|
Wow Zero, great job! You make it look easy!
|
|
Thanks, Banana Apple. It's nice to see you again.
|
|
The feeling's mutual!
|
|
Sorry about your birthday, Pie. Getting ruined and all that.
|
|
No, that was great! I mean, the fight really sucked, and uh, so did the classroom part. The team introduction wasn't fun at all, either. But I made four new friends!
|
|
Three new friends.
|
|
Okay. ...Do you guys like tacos?
|
|
Yeah!
|
|
Yay! We're all besties!
|
|
Keep telling yourself that.
|
|
Oh, well that's awesome, Pie. Eating my family. Hey, thanks for inviting me to your awesome fight, by the way. It's not like I'm literally a black belt in taekwondo or anything. Whatever. I'll just eat some pie. Then we'll be even. ...INVITE ME NEXT TIME, PLEASE!
|
|
Credits.
|
|
Thank you for doing this for me, Basketball.
|
|
Of course! You know, we should play more often.
|
|
You guys are total nerd dorks! Chess? Ha!
|
|
What comes around goes around, Snowball.
|
|
Yeah, yeah.
|
|
Snowball is grabbed by the legs by I.
|
|
What the??
|
|
Snowball is thrown against the ground by I.
|
|
Ow! What's going on? Ow! Owowowowowowowow!
|
|
*gasp* It's the imaginary number!
|
|
Ahahahahaha! Screw you, Snowball!
|
|
(Simultaneously) PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! STOP IT! AHHH! OWOWOW! OW! Are you going to do this forever?!- Are you going to do this forever?! OWWW! OW! OWOWOW! OW! Ah! Are you going to do this forever?! Ah, stop this! Ah, get me out of this! AH!-
|
|
(Simultaneously) The square root of negative one! Oh my gosh! Before you, quadratic equations that didn't cross the x-axis didn't have answers! Wow! Can we be friends or something? It's awesome you hate Snowball as much as me! I've hated him my whole life! Maybe we could grab a coffee sometimes? I just want to get to know you!
|
|
(Simultaneously) HAHAHAHAHAHA! SNOWBALL IS GETTING... HIT OVER AND OVER AND OVER! HAHAHAHAHAHA!-
|
|
The video ends.
|
