Return of the Rocket Ship/Transcript

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Spongy and Barf Bag are sitting in a swimming pool on a paper plane.

Spongy, I think we should call it a day. I support you and all, but I've nearly drowned five times, we're running out of planes and Four didn't even give us permission to use them!

You just don't think I can do it.

Sure I dooo!

(in the distance) BARF BAAAAAAAAAG!!!

One moment, Spongy! I'm not forgetting about you! (to Taco, annoyed) What?

(quickly) Please hang out with me!

If you couldn't tell, I'm busy.

Come onnn, you're basically the ONLY person I wanna talk to anymore! And it's been SO LONG!

Yeah, but, aren't you like, friends with Lollipop or something now?

I share a mutual friend with her, thank you, and I don't like that friend at the moment, but can you NOT talk about my TEAM right now?

Well, so-rry, but I feel like I have to! You need to start caring what they think of you. You're a team!

(shouting) That's not helping! I can't hear youuuuuu!

(shouting, to Taco) Someday you'll thank me! (to Spongy) Sorry about that, Spongy. How about we play some table tennis?

I'd rather play ping-pong.

The scene cuts to Book's view looking at Taco through binoculars.

So she doesn't even want to talk to us! Look, Lollipop! She's the one, who won't talk to ME!

(not caring) You exhaust me.

Book and Lollipop are interrupted by a slurping noise to find Saw with a pink handle.

(slurping on drink) Oh hey guys!

After the intro ends.

Why hello, Saw! Good to have you back.

YOU! Care to explain why you left us behind!?

Oh, Book. I've been on a scent cleanse.

Book, Lollipop, and Saw are silent for a moment.

Scent. CLEANSE. You know, pushing the good smells in, so the bad smells come out. It's been working really well. Now the words I say are my own choice now! I told Lollipop and Taco I was gone, I thought they would tell the rest of you.

Well, Taco's being shunned right now, and Lollipop just likes to know more than everyone else, so... yeah. Also, hey, Saw!

Hi, G-8-Y!!!

Uhh, you ok?

I feel GR-8!!!

Are you absolutely positive those fumes are out of your system?

Uhm, yeah! All my number-yelling urges are completely S-8-ED!!!

Book and Lollipop look at Saw.

What? Why are you guys all looking at me like that?

So this is how you distract from the fact that you ABANDONED US?!

I-I didn't abandon you, I just came back l-EIGH-

None of the rest of you are outraged?!

She has a perfectly good explanation, what's your problem?

I could go on and on about the things YOU overreact to.

Ok, we will NOT stand for this anymore.

Wha?

We were neglected and mocked by our old team, but you all turned out to be no different! And I think I speak for both of us, when I say we want to see some change. Right, Ice Cube?

Let me think for myself!

Huh!? Icy, the whole time, I thought we were on the same page! I didn't know you didn't agree with me!

Well...yeah, I don't agree! And I'm gonna do what I want instead of what YOU want!

Well, what DO you want?

I, I, uh, I'm gonna switch teams!

*gasp*

Can she even just do that?

She CAN'T just do that.(to Ice Cube) I hate to break it to you, but it's not BFDIA anymore.

OH MY GOSH I KNOW THAT!

You got something you wanna talk about there, Coiny?

NO! (zips off)

Why do people keep distracting me today? A- As I was saying, Ice Cube-

Book notices Ice Cube is missing.

ICE CUBE!

The Cake at Stake theme plays. A grumpy Ice Cube walks to Gelatin's seat.

Here we are, the second failure of good ol' Team Ice Cube! But Ice Cube, what are you doing here? You're on another team!

Ohh! Hey! ...Icy...! I know our team name is confusing, but, uh, YOUR team is THAT way. Go on, now!

Ice Cube sits on the bench.

(whispering) What do I do?

It wouldn't hurt to let her watch, right?

Fineee. But first, we have a large crowd watching us today!

The first group of recommended characters is shown.

Viewers! Your character could appear, too! Follow the link in the description! If enough of you recommend a character, there will be a chance for one of your characters to join the show!

Also, today's safe contestants will be getting souped, while the most voted of you will get zooped!

Barf Bag, you're safe!

Barf Bag screams after Four throws hot soup at her face.

Spongy and Gelatin, also safe!

Spongy gets hit by hot soup.

Ouw!

Wait wait! Could you cool down the soup before you continue?

Fiiiine...

Four dunks Ice Cube into the soup, melting her.

AAAAAAAAaaaaiiii!

Slightly less hot soup is thrown at Gelatin.

Ewww... gross! It still made me soggy...

Donut and Bomby are both safe!

Soup passes through Donut's hole and hits Gelatin. More soup knocks Bomby's banana out of his hand and into Black Hole.

Seriously? I JUST got him that banana.

Naily is the last one safe!

Yeah! I naaaii...ver expected THIS outcome.

And Firey Jr. is eliminated, with exactly 10,000 votes!

Lightning and Puffball celebrate Firey Jr.'s number of votes with confetti and a banner.

10,000 is also ten to the fourth!

Are- are you all mocking me?

Well no, but-

You kinda deserve it.

You weren't much of an... asset to us, so... maybe this is like your first small victory?

Yeah. There's no one quite like you, but, you know, maybe that's for the best.

I can't believe this! *getting sucked in, speech faster* You know what, I never liked any of you! Who cares about Team Ice Cube anyway? You guys are all pieces of GARBAGE!

Firey Jr. gets sent to EXIT.

Good riddance, am I right?

Well, I wouldn't go that far, but.. yeah.

A shrunken Ice Cube exits the soup bowl. It then cuts to one of Yellow Face's ads.

Want a scrumptious dining experience, but never have the cutlery on hand? Then buy our recently patented Fork Attractant! It'll coat you with the most magnificent-

Yellow Face! we don't have time for that blabber!

I can't talk about my ad?

Whip pan to Marker with a piece of dirt.

Yellow Face has an ad? (eyes sparkling) I wish nothing more in this world than to watch this wonderful ad!

Oh, heavenly commercial, would you PLEASE bless me with your exquisite viewing exprience?

My body compels me to pleasure my eyeballs with the euphoria of Yellow Face's ad!

All of you just quit it! We don't have time for this! And you! Not only are you not on our team, aren't you also trying to sell the exact opposite product as Yellow Face?

Short pause as Yellow Face is offended.

Clearly you... don't understand market forces.

Lollipop takes a bite out of one of Fries' fries and walks away.

Fries, Lolly may be a tad rude, but why are you getting your potatoes in a bunch? What's the urgency?

The urgency is that Four and X are going to announce the next contest right now!

Cut to Four and X standing still.

I don't see what you're talking about.

No, Fries is right! When they have that blank look on their face, it means they're gonna say something!

Oh. Really?

Yeah!

But it always starts with X floating mysteriously into the air.

That's right! Always the mysterious floating!

...Aaany second now!

When's it gonna happen?

ANY second now!

Are you guys sure about this?!

Yeah. Any second now.

ANY second now!

Come on, come on!

X starts to float, but suddenly changes direction and starts to burrow underground. Fries and Eraser stare in surprise.

X is hurtling toward Earth's center at 2,763 miles an hour. Oh nooooooo.

Oh, and the contest is for us to bring X back to you? Gosh, that's predictable.

Four, now giant, appears and scoops Pillow up with his tongue.

*screeches Pillow*

Four, I hope you don't swallow!

*eats Pillow* Eh?

Tree looks in disappointment.

Pillow is incorrect! X may be plummeting to the depths of the underworld, but... X is just looking for his treasure!!

I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN BECAUSE I MUST BE X'S ONLY TREASURE-

So if you find X's treasure before X does, your team is safe. Go!

Four, can you recover Balloony?

Sure! *recovers Balloony*

Four, can you recover Bottle?

Sure. *recovers Bottle*

Recover Bubble!

Sure! *recovers Bubble*

Four, can you um, recover our possibly dead teammate?

Sure, if you can tell me who it is!

Uh-

Come on, Eggy! It's challenge time! Let's go!

Leafy takes Eggy away.

How are we gonna figure out what X's treasure is, if we can't read X's mind?

What makes you think we CAN'T read X's mind?

No way! Is that what I think it is?

Yep! I built an MMR!

MMR? I love measles, mumps and rubella!

Well, I hate them!

Fanny, what are you doing here? You're on the other team!

Robot Flower launches Fanny over the second group of recommended characters, while she screams in agony. Once she lands, her parts come back together.

Woah! Fanny! You're back!

And you're back in one piece!

Not mentally!

Golf Ball, I don't understand all your mumbo jumbo. What IS an MMR?

Mutual Mind Reader. If you point it at someone, it tells you exactly what they're thinking! Look!

Golf Ball reads Cloudy, Saw, and Bell's minds.

"I wanna collect X's treasure!"

"I don't H-8 this CR-8's TR-8's! I R-8 it's a STR-8 8 out of 8!"

"I'm glad the top of my string is connected to a giant--"

Woah, woah! That's so overpowered, though!

But there's a catch! It's mutual, so they get to read one of your thoughts, too!

What's this? I'm Golf Ball and the square root of 49 is 7?

Huh? I hope nobody finds out about my square root obsessions?

What the... now I need to send some people to my incinerator?

Okay, so let's get Tennis Ball to read X's mind, so we can determine what and where the treasure is!

Okay, GB, I'll do what you say.

Now remember TB, X can read your mind! X is our host, so don't disrespect him. Don't think X is dumb! Don't think X is whiny! Don't think X is weak! Don't think X is horrible!

That's kinda hard when you're saying it out loud!

Don't think X is stupid!

"X is stupid."

Tennis Ball's thought is transmitted to X. X frowns.

Got it!

Tennis Ball turns off the MMR.

X's treasure are various emeralds underground, some of which are buried at the coordinates 133, -82, -7.63.

Great work, TB!

Now we must keep this secret, so we have an advantage over the other teams.

X's treasure are various emeralds underground? Some of which are buried at the coordinates 133, -82, -7.63? WOO!

Golf Ball looks in disappointment.

Huh? What? Huh wh- uh, huh? I heard Grassy shout! What does- what does he need?

Heeey Golf Ball! So um, can you tell me our team's plan? Uh, for, for the challenge?

Absolutely not, Basketball.

Why not?

You're not high enough on the managerial hierarchy to be trusted!

Hm. Hey Tennis Ball, can you ask GB what's our plan?

What's our plan?

Dig over there!

Dig over there.

Alright, thanks.

You know, Grassy, I'm not sure why Golf Ball distrusts me all of the sudden, but it's not fair!

I'm Grassy!

To be fair, you WERE the impostor who turned out to be Puffball last episode.

But that's not my fault!

Okay alliance, we heard Grassy's orders!

Yes we did!

You realize the alliance is only you and Bubble now, don't you?

Well, Ice Cube is in our alliance, too, right? But she's on a different team, so, I guess she can't help us out even if she's on our alliance.

Hm... now I'm on your team.

You all know she can't do that, right?

Shh! Let her believe what she wants.

Ruby bites into the ground.

Ruby! Digging with shovels is faster than with teeth!

Good point.

Ruby gets some shovels from a crate.

Dig, big boy!

Don't call me big boy!

Sure thing, big baby!

Let's get to work!

That's a big no-can-do from me.

I hate digging!

But don't you also hate hating digging?

Oh. Well, I uh- yeah, I guess it is my job to do that.

Good! Now dig.

Thunder! Would YOU like to dig?

Um, are you talking to me? Cause I'm LIGHTNING.

Thunder, Lightning, same thing.

It's really not. That would be like if I called YOU 'Shatter Sound'.

Didn't need the death threat, but if you didn't want to dig, you could've just said so!

No no no, I really wanna dig! Let me show you!

Lightning begins to dig rapidly.

Yaaay!

The rest of iance follows Lightning down the hole.

I hate that X's emeralds are down this hole!

Did I just hear that X's emeralds are down this hole? Come on Team Icy, follow meee!

Team Ice Cube follows iance down the hole.

Well, I guess since we're just a team of FOLLOWERS, we should go in too!

BEEP follows iance down the hole as well.

Loser's spirit is commanding me to go in as well!

Hold it, Cake. I have a deep spiritual connection with Loser as well, but HE'S telling ME that if we just dive into that same hole as everyone else, we're merely followers! Obeyers! Failures! But we're not that! We're Losers!

Yeah?! Well, MY spiritual connection with Loser is STRONGER, and he's telling me to jump right in!

You think you're so good, Cake? Well, my connection with Loser is so strong, that when I crack, I bleed Loser's color. And he's telling me that we have to go our own route because Loser stands for independence, perseverance, and dignity!

Cut to Loser in the Liar Ball.

I could really go for some chicken nuggets right now.

Cut back to Cake and Eggy.

My spiritual-

Woah! Why are you guys yelling so much?

Yeah! What is wrong with this throng...? Shouting strong for too long.

...Okay?

Cut to Death P.A.C.T.

Death P.A.C.T.ers! Where do we think the emeralds would be?

No clue.

I heard rumors that the emeralds are lodged in the spikes of Evil Canyon, so let's go there!

Black Hole stops his team.

I'm so disappointed in all of you. Haven't you forgotten our team is about preventing death? You know? Not only were you venturing toward the Evil Canyon's spikes, which would kill you, you also didn't pay attention when one of our own team members just died!

Oh, you mean Pillow?

Hmm...

Pie, Pen, Bottle, Tree and Remote start fluttering their arms.

I am appalled.

Okay! According to my GPS, we are directly above the coordinates! Robot Flower, YOU must get along with broken machines!

What's that supposed to mean?!

Go get my broken rocket!

Robot Flower retrieves Golf Ball's rocket on the moon.

Everyone get in!

All of A Better Name Than That gets in the rocket.

GB, are you out of your mind? Why would we go to space? There's no emeralds there! Besides, this thing's broken!

Shut up, Blocky, and start rotating the satellite dish!

Uh, okay.

Blocky repeatedly flips a lever that rotates the satellite dish.

Heh heh! Emeralds, here we come!

A Better Name Than That digs past the third and final group of recommended characters. It then pans over to iance.

iancians? I hear screaming above us!

Uh, you're probably having a sudden nightmare. I get them too, when I'm around Flower-

Hold up! I hear it, too!

Oh noio guys, I think the other teams chased us down this hole, and I don't wanna have to forgive them for that!

They're gonna fall on us, and I HATE being landed on!

They're falling so fast! We'll all die on impact!

Heh heh. Good thing I have my secret weapon!

Ruby turns upside down.

9 Mohs hardness scale point activate!

Cut to BEEP.

WOOOOOOAAAAAAAAUGGHH- Well, isn't my life just great. -AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Cut back to iance.

Ruby! Don't ever make that pose ever again!

Sorry.

But isn't it easier for us to just...dig sideways?

Oh!

iance begins to dig sideways. Team Ice Cube lands on Bubble. They cheer.

(carries Team Ice Cube!) *groans*

Oh man, Bubble's still under that rubble!

I am, but I can't hold 'em up for much longer! I'm gonna pop!

And holy aphid! There's another team about to land on her!

Hmm... guys, I have a plan. Follow me!

iance digs a pit and an area to stand above Bubble.

Now everyone, I need you to blow that way as hard as you can!

iance blows.

I hate blowing!

Blow as hard as you can!

Beep falls into the pit iance dug.

We saved you, Bubble!

You sure did!

Flower loses her balance and falls onto Team Ice Cube, popping Bubble. iance stares in horror.

What?

iance stares in horror.

Big FLUFFING deal, it's not the first time I killed her anyway! Remember the finale?

iance continues to stare in horror.

Whatever! You five get down here and let's keep digging!

Cut back to Death P.A.C.T.

Seriously? You don't even- None of you care that Pillow was killed?

Wait, why are we waving our arms?

*laughs* I'm just doing it ’cause everyone else is!

No! We should be CARING about Pillow's death!

Exactly, Pie.

This doesn't make any sense. If arm waving truly means you don't care, why did I start doing that?

Well, I'm glad you've finally woke up!

Pen! You were arm waving, too!

Remote? Hey, Remote! Everyone else stopped arm waving. Huh. Remote's not responding.

Okay. But if Pillow's been killed, shouldn't we recover her?

Good plan, let's go ask Four.

Four, recover Pillow!

No.

Why not?

She's not dead!

But Four, you ate her!

Correct!

So she's been digested, I assume?

Nope!

Ah, trunk this. Team, we need to go investigate Four's mouth. But how do you open this thing? It.. It won't budge!

Tree, step aside! Five!

Yes?

Is...

Yes?

Greater than four!

*screeches Death PACT*

The members of Death PACT begin to jump in Four's mouth.

Team! Let's go, let's go!

Cut to Bleh, who haven't started digging yet.

Hey! Guys! Hello? Look, I know SOME OF US don't get along, but can we at least come together to figure out where the treasure is?

By SOME of us, surely you mean Taco, right? Since she's all the way over there, not even standing with her team right now? She doesn't even think to do the same?

Book, we need to talk. Okay?

She doesn't even have the common decency th-

Come over here. Just follow me, okay? Come over here.

Looks like it's time to get this book's cover- judged!

You know, I've always H-8-ED that expression.

Alright Book, what is the matter with you lately?

Oh, what's the matter with me? Why don't you ask-

Yes! What is the matter with YOU! You've gone from being one of my most clear-headed friends to this irrational, aggressive, hot-headed- I don't recognize you anymore! Okay?

Me and Ice Cube joined this team because we were tired of being mistreated. And here we are again getting abandoned, and who knows what else-

Oh, Book, have you not been paying attention? The rest of us already realized we were being irrational about Taco... "Abandoning" us.

How DARE you utter the traitor's name!!!

(as she says "Taco", Book's expression changes) Taco. Taco. Taco! Taco. Taco, Taco, Taco. See, this is what I mean about you being irrational. Even if we WERE in a crisis, the proper response is NOT to vilify our allies.

Allies? She's in no way an ally!

Alright, Book, say whatever you want, but if you really think you're in the right here, if you really think your yelling is somehow protecting this team and Ice Cube, then I have to ask you this: what were the first words you remember saying?

"I'm a dictionary and you'd better believe it"?

Exactly. Maybe it's about time you look into yourself an see what your own definition is. Think it may have changed.

Just 'cause I'm a dictionary doesn't mean you can use me to-

(walking away) 'kay! Whatever!

H-hey! Get back here!

Aaaa...

Look myself up in me? I... I haven't done that in years...

Book opens up to the definition of herself. Her definition is "a nice friend who has an elegant, two-toned cover", but it becomes garbled and the only legible word becomes "MEAN".

Maybe I am doing something wrong.

Cut to Beep.

Let's get out of here!

Oh, uh, Cloudy, I forgot to bring shovels.

Wha? Didn't I recommend you start collecting them last week?!

Well, um- I'm an airhead?

Couldn't agree more...

Wa-wa.

What's that, Woody?

Wa-wa!

Did you say "salt and vinegar"?

Woody smiles.

Let's do this!

Balloony begins to violently shake Rocky.

INDUCE THE NAUSEA! INDUCE THE NAUSEA! INDUCE THE NAUSEA! INDUCE THE NAUSEA! INDUCE THE NAUSEA! INDUCE THE NAUSEA! INDUCE THE NAUSEA!

Bul-

*gasp*

Bulleh!

Rocky's vomit burns through the ground.

Woo-hoo! Tongue it, my boyonoceros!

Woody copies Ice Cube's ugly face from BFDIA 2.

No more tonguing! Let's jump in!

Beep jumps further into the hole. It cuts to a map of where every team except Death PACT is, and it pans to Team Ice Cube, who stumble upon and dig through a luminescent white sphere.

Woah. What is this place?

Credits.

Oh. My. GOSH!